Karlen: 21. Single. Filipina. Harry Potter. Adventure Time. Music. Book. Films. Pets. Food. Let's be friends.
if i lay here. if i just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Anonymous said: I think you should give credit then, because that sounds really romanticising for people who haven't seen the movie. I just don't want people to start thinking like that about cutting...
I will. Thank you. Thank you, really, anon. I mean, if I was really too depressed, I might have actually done it if no one ever even talked to me. But depressed or not, thank you for showing your concern. I love you, anon, whoever you are.
I have this fluctuation of emotions and sometimes depression and I admit that I have thought about killing myself about hundreds of times. People see me as a very outgoing person, but they don’t know that I’m actually an introvert, I keep things to myself which had caused me this. And yes, about my countless times of thinking abut killing myself, I could have done it a long long time ago, even now but I never did and ever will. There a re a lot of means within reach that I can use: poison, sleeping pills, rope, knife- name it- but I NEVER DID nor EVER WILL.
I admit that I am not a perfect Christian, I do not always pray at night, and I forget to go to God sometimes when I have problems, but I never forget His promise in Jeremiah 29:11, that He has plans for my future and I believe that with all of me.
So I will never kill myself. This life was His to give and not mine to take.
And yes, I do have depression, and I am already seeking help for that. First step is always acceptance. I know I’ll be better soon. And I’m really thankful for the people around me as well as anons who shows that they care. I love you guys. Thank you.
Anonymous said: Why did you buy the straight razor then? Why do you call it your friend?
That was actually a line from a song in the film ‘Sweeney Todd’. You should watch it. Pretty gross.
Anonymous said: Stop it. The blade's not your friend. It's not romantic. It's not poetic. You need help. You're suicidal. Don't kill yourself, it won't be beautiful, it won't end up with a dramatic fade to black. It'll hurt like fuck and you'll bleed to death and it'll be slow and horrifying. Don't make this glamorous. Don't make this pretty. It's not. You're not a line in a poem. You're alone and you're sick and you need help.
Thanks, Anon. I actually know that. And no- I did not and will not cut myself, nor end my life. I know it is painful, getting accidentally cut by a kitchen knife is, even self inflicted pain such as in getting a tattoo is. I know it’s not pretty or romantic or poetic. And I know, I know I’m kinda sick in the head and yes, I am getting help. The first step is acceptance. Don’t worry- I am not going to kill myself. But yeah, thank you anyway.
“This is my friend, see how it glistens. See this one shine, how he smiles in the light- my friend, my faithful friend.”
-Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
Just bought a straight razor.
I wish I could have Ed’s future kids :”P